What makes a Man?

Fr Brendan Kilcoyne in Medjugorje

A short introduction:

Just to say (for all those toying with the unsubscribe button) I’m back home but not quite finished on the pilgrimage topic. This post is more lighthearted than previous! And there are a few more to follow.

On my first day in Medjugorje, Bosnia Herzegovina, I met a whole gang of people from the great County Mayo, accompanied by Fr Brendan Kilcoyne of The Brendan Option.

Originally from Killeen, outside Louisburgh, Fr Brendan has a great talent for making scripture accessible and relatable in the modern context.

I quite like that the subtitles on this video refer to Co Mayo as ‘County May wow’ !

The interview was conducted while Fr Brendan was in Medjugorje and posted to YouTube on the ‘Tom Medjugorje’ channel this week. Fr Brendan talks about why this pilgrimage destination is especially meaningful for men, what a man should aspire to be and why everyone should experience Medjugorje.

“I really think as a society the whole place should come to Medjugorje,” Fr Brendan said.

Here’s some snippets of things he discussed with Tom, but it’s best to watch the video to understand his sense of humour…

Fr Brendan: “This is just a theory. I think women understand religion better….I don’t know that men clue-in that naturally or quickly, but if a man does, he can be remarkable. Men have found something here.

“I think the relationship between men and Our Lady is very powerful and very natural. Mother – Son. Every Irish mother spoils her sons (laughs.) I think that dynamic is in it and I think there is a special retreat, sanctuary and recharging point available for men here. I hope the women don’t mind me saying that and I don’t think they will, because they know it comes harder to men.”

Tom: Out of it they get a man who is living from the heart as Our Lady asks..

Fr Brendan: “They get a man who says prayers.”

Tom: The picture of manhood is destroyed by society for a reason, because man should be the shepherd of the family and the other side knows how to destroy that..

Fr Brendan: “A man should be a serious player, he should be a person of great dignity, the father of a family. Not some little boy who has never grown up. I mean, what man wants his son to look at him and see just, an aging teenager? The son wants to see a father.”

Tom: And how would you describe a real man?

Fr Brendan: “I think a real man ultimately loves his children and his spouse spiritually because he imitates the fatherhood of God and the fatherhood of God is not biological it is spiritual. God is pure spirit. So biologically fatherhood is a tremendous thing, but if its not followed up with spiritual fatherhood, it’s like a ruined building; it is beautiful but it’s poignant and sad and tragic.”

Tom: That’s what we see these days…

Fr Brendan “Yes I’m afraid we see a lot of it. And young men are very dangerous if they are not properly raised. And it’s being left to women, they are doing heroic jobs, but it’s not possible to simply produce those two things in one person, anymore than a man can be a mother.”

On Confession:

“I would say the only thing to do there is to have a few drinks, shut your eyes and run at it. Grab the first priest you see and demand that he hear your confession.” (Laughs)

“I think you just have to get past that hill. Just get your courage. Toughen up and bite the bullet. It’s a tremendous source of strength.”

“For a start, it enables you to approach God through a human agent and intermediary and we are human and physical and God is very big for us. This servant in front of us, gives us the tremendous catalyst of a human listener, which can have a very powerful effect. If the priest knows his business. Which isn’t to say much actually, but to listen carefully.”

“Forgiveness is there for us. A future is there for us. We are not just servants, we are heirs. We are heirs to a fortune. But we are starving to death outside the bank that holds our money. We are begging in the street outside the bank that holds our account!”

Watch the full video here :